Beware of this long read!!!!! Proceed with caution.
One of the biggest reasons I wanted to start a substack was to be able to write all my thoughts out easily. I love sharing my fashion finds and tips, but I think being able to write about things that aren’t always talked about is super important, especially for people in their 20s. I don’t want to say it’s not all what it’s cracked out to be, because everyone’s experience is different. Your first year of being a college graduate can be the best and worst times of your life. It feels like freshman year all over again, but it’s not the end of the world. As an almost 24-year-old, going on their 2nd year of post-grad in NYC, I thought I would share my experience here, for all the recent grads or others in the same position as me.
The Beginning
I had senioritis in college, probably the minute the second semester/winter quarter started. I wanted OUT to say the least. My anxiety however was also at an all-time high about job applications. Of course, the year I graduated, the job market was horrible and everyone was on a hiring freeze. I had big dreams of working in fashion in New York (one of the most competitive and insane industries might I add). When you don’t study fashion or go to one of the big fashion schools like FIT or FIDM or Parsons or whatever, most companies/brands don’t necessarily want to hire you. So, when I sent in my application to these top fashion brands, with my PR/Advertising degree from the University of Oregon….I didn’t get many responses. I loved studying PR because I thought of it as more of a foundation for communication, social media, and advertising all rolled into one, and it’s great when you want to work at a typical PR agency Looking back on it now, I regret not doing more of a business degree because it probably would’ve helped me in the long run in fashion. I had no job post-graduation. A couple of interviews here and there over the summer, but was rejected one after the other. I was down on my luck but determined to move to New York and already had signed a lease to an apartment. I was lucky enough to one day reconnect with someone I had talked to back before I graduated, who needed someone to help for New York Fashion Week. I was shocked that I was offered this position. It happened maybe 2 weeks before I ended up moving. Technically a freelance/contract role but I didn’t care, all I wanted was to have a job and work in fashion.
The First 6 Months
The first couple of months of moving to a new city can be hard. I thought I was gonna have a panic attack the minute my parents said goodbye to me. It was different than college, because here I am, on the opposite side of the country, not knowing a single soul besides my roommates. (Mehak & Haley<3) However, I ended up loving the city the minute I moved there. No feeling of being overwhelmed or anxious, the transition was so easy for me, which was shocking. Of course, there were times when I compared myself to others especially people who were at bigger companies with lots of coworkers and happy hours. But I got to work New York Fashion Week! August to December were the best months for me mentally. I felt like I belonged, and like I was where I needed to be.
By February of 2024, I actually had gotten a new job at a brand that was up and coming and everything I ever wanted. I was an intern, but it felt way more than just that. I was the only in-house PR contact so I was doing lots of connecting with stylists and magazines and getting amazing celebrity placements. I even got to send something to Taylor Swift for her to wear to the Super Bowl. LIKE WHAT? Then, I even got to be in charge of the social media. I was on top of the world. The thing about me is that I like being busy. I get anxious when I have a little too much downtime. Don’t get me wrong, I love rotting in my bed, but the best thing about this job was that I had to go into the office every day working until like 6 or 7 at night. I loved it. That was until I had to go home in April to get surgery. Around this time, I had asked to be more involved. I didn’t need a title change or raise, I just wanted to go to the photoshoots or help more with stuff that wasn’t just PR or writing a caption for Instagram. When I told them about the surgery + hopefully being more involved, they told me that I was actually being let go. The internship didn’t have an end date so I never really thought of the possibility of being let go. This is nothing against the brand I was at because I understand the decision they made. They were growing exponentially and needed someone more senior in the PR position. I didn’t have a job to go to after being let go. So when I went home in April to recover from my surgery, I was applying and interviewing like mad. But once again, nothing stuck.
May, June, and July
I decided to go back to New York before I had a new job. In hindsight, I should’ve waited, but in my mind, it seemed easier to get a job once I was physically back in New York. I ended up freelancing for a PR agency all of May. I hated it. Nothing against them, it just wasn’t a good fit for me. This is when I got into this bad headspace. The whole month of May, and some of June, I would wake up with a pit in my stomach and couldn’t shake it. I missed my family, I missed being busy, I missed feeling secure. Even though I did have a job, and I was making money, something felt so off. I kept enduring this feeling of loneliness, constantly questioning my decision to move here, and comparing myself to every person I knew in the city. I would cry to my roommates every single day and then call my mom, my dad, and my cousins crying. The cherry on top of that was my therapist was booked and couldn't get me in. Horrible state of mind to be in, especially with how overwhelming NYC can be. I wish that was the end of my misfortunes. Then the agency decided they didn’t need my help after all so there I was back to unemployment. The first week of June, I got a temp job the first week of June working at a showroom as a sales assistant for Market Week, and I LOVED IT. It gave me that a-ha moment that I could see myself doing this. Becoming a buyer, or account executive, somewhere cool like Bloomingdale’s or ShopBop etc. Doing sales in the fashion industry has so much more room for growth. I tried everything I could to find something new and similar to this sales assistant job. Connecting with mutuals, sending probably 50 inMail messages on LinkedIn a day, and applying like crazy. Nothing. It was by then that I had a major moment of panic and booked a one-way flight to my family’s lake house. I had made it to the final rounds of so many interviews for jobs that I really could see myself doing. I had got my hopes up to each one, to be let down every time.
“The role has pivoted.”
“We’re on a hiring freeze.”
“We went in a different direction.”
Life Right Now + Unwarranted Advice
No one asked me for my advice but I’m giving it anyway. Shoutout to the cousin’s group chat for helping me out.
Post-grad does not suck for everyone. But it also isn’t great for everyone. Which is okay! Because you’re definitely not alone, (trust me). There is a good chance your first post-grad job is not going to be one you like. Be patient! My mantra for this year has been “comparison is the thief of joy” and it really is. So if anyone who just graduated college stumbles across this, keep that little mantra in the back of your head. It can be hard finding yourself in a big city like NYC. San Francisco, LA, San Diego, Austin, wherever you are. You feel like a small fish in a big ass pond that could swallow you up in a second. Not to mention that NYC can be literally insane. It’s really easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious here. But the great thing about big cities, there is always something to do. Enjoy your time and don’t feel bad if your journey looks different than someone else’s. Nobody has life figured out.
Additionally, If you’re anything like me, I have this problem where I act like I’m 30 years old (actually verbatim from my therapist) and need to be set and successful in a career, with a boyfriend I’m going to marry and have kids with, and whatever. I need to enjoy being 23. Find happiness in being 23! Enjoy the present. I’m young and single in a big city, the world is my oyster. Find the joy of hobbies again! If I didn’t have that time back in May, I would’ve never started my substack, and writing this actually felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. Another great manta - “Life is like a mirror; it reflects back what you project onto it.” Find happiness within yourself and the world will reflect it. <3…(I need to take my own advice).
If you’re wondering if I got a new job for August, the answer is no. Technically no. I actually went back to my first job when I moved here as a freelancer. Working fashion week again - which is a dream come true and I love my boss with all my heart. Not only did she take me in again, but she’s been helping me with connections as well. I’m still actively applying to some things but the job market is a mess right now. Plus, I want to give myself the benefit of the doubt for not securing something. Who knows what’s next for me? I’m going wherever the wind will take me. Anyway, if you made it here, congratulations and I’m so sorry for the dump. See you later, gonna call my therapist now to schedule an appointment!!!
Loved this!!! You should make more of these blogs you’re so good at it!!❤️ also I’m waiting for the wind to blow you to you to take the acting class and costume design!!